Yay! It's my forst day of work! Not lol I mean not yay but it is my first day of work and I get to tutor little kids for an hour but hey it's some money so imnot really mad or anything. I hope my kid isn't hella scared to talk to me and I hope they are fast leathers so we can just chill for a while and I hope that my kid isn't a brat because if they are then it's all bad lol. Well other than that nothing is new just waiting until I'm 18 so I ca go off and be. Happy not this sad or mad me whenever Im at home. Only 2 more months and then life with become great we just gotta keep fighting. Oh wait there is something new my football banquet is today so that should be cool we get ribs but that's it later.

What to blog about? I really have nothing to blog about lol well I'll blog about anything. Well Xmas is coming and amy still won't tell me what she wants for sure. It's always changing lol but I still love her. For me a few games or and xbox 360 with wireless Internet would be the Besttt!!!! But it is very expensive so I'm not expecting it I'm just hoping it might happen lol well I might be spending Xmas in Santa Cruz so it might be really good because Ill be with my Amy and all happy and spend it with my aister but idk yet well that's all I got

Playoffs are here and the whole team is super excited.I nope we win sections that would be the best or maybe even state. I want one of those rings you get when you win and I want to just have the pride of knowing I was a part of that year and we can enjoyed it. I know coach miller will love it because it will be his fourth section ring. Fourth! That's dam crazy. Well I hope we go that far

fml

today sucked soooooo much. my halloween was the worst. i waited and you came at the end when it was closed. what happened to 6...oh wait it became 7. i talked to my other aunt and she helpped cheer me up but im still sad and mad deep down inside. i feel alone... and i really dont like it. all i want is to be happy and it seems like everytime i wish for that i get more sad. i hate this whole thing. i just want it to all end. i just want it to be what it use to. i want us back to how we were. i want it soooo bad too, but it seems to grow farther away even as the days count down. it feels like we arent as close anymore, it feels as if im losing you... and i have no way to stop it. i feel hopeless at times. its like you have cancer and are dying and there is nothing I can do to keep you here with me... maybe i jusdt feel like this because im depressed... i dont like being depressed... fml!

what do i say???

i want to try to talk my aunt in to letting me go back to seeing and hanging out with Amy, but i dont know what to say. i know it will probably end in an argument, but i really cant do this any longer. im not how i was when i was abl;e to spend time with her. im incomplete now. i lose sleep becuase of the constant day dreaming of how good it use to be. i wish i could just go and be happy. my aunt is blind to how i feel, she only cares about how she feels and how she wants to control everyone she can. i hate that she has control over me and that i have to come to this dreaded house everyday, when i wish i could just go home... home, my home is her house. the place i feel safe and i can be myself and not worry about getting in trouble. this morning i woke up to the cold and i thought, i could be waking up warm and next to her in her giant bed, i c ould be the happiest ill ever be, but no im not becuase i live here... here in- in hell.

the day...

the day is coming. the day i never have to hear them bitch at me for not doing what they want. the day i will be able to go and see her anytime i want. the day i will no longer live their life, ill live my own. this day is the day i get all the freedom ill ever have. from that moment on ill never have to go through what im going through now. ill have the good life as they call it. i count down the days until the day comes. its still over a hundred so im not jumping around with excitement or at least not yet. soon i will have a constant smile on my face.the day is one of the things ive been fighting for . that day i will do nothing but move out and spend the whole day with her, Amy. that day will forever be magnificent. nothing will take away my happiness that will come. we will both be full of joy and happiness. I cant wait for the day to come, it needs to come faster.

to her...

i need to be a better boyfriend. you say im amazing but i could try to be better. i need to put you first every time. you are my world and for that nothing should ever come before you. you say you need to change but in fact you really dont need to at all. i love you for who YOU really are. i like that you get jealous because it shows how much you care. your personality is amazing. you as a person are amazing. i love you. you are very strong and stand up for anything you feel is wrong. i just need to stand up more even though i am already standing up, but i should have done it sooner than now. but from now on i plan to stand my ground for you and fight any battle that steps in front of me. i will do anything for you and i am here for you. i will always be here for you. you are my best friend and you will always be my best friend. my main point is you dont have to change i do... I love you for who YOU are and you should never change. i will always love you. I love you Amy Kathleen Davis forever n ever

i cant wait to grad

i cant wait to never have to wake up before 6 am again! i cant wait to sleep and wake up next to Amy. i cant wait to never have an adult tell me what i cant do. who i can see and where i can go. i cant wait for all the things i hecka want to do come true. i cant wait to just lie on the beach watching the sunset with the person i love, Amy. i cant wait to never worrying about getting in trouble for not mowing the lawn or not washing the cars. i cant wait to go buy whatever i want whenever i want. i cant wait to get out of the hell im in now. i cant wait to be able to spend every moment of the day with Amy. i cant wait to get a phone again. i cant wait for the good life. the life of no worries, troubles or doubts. the life only of happiness, joy, and the future. this time will be the best and i wont be alone. ill have Amy to live it up with. i cant wait to not have to go to school everyday. i cant wait. thats all i find myself saying now that im in this situation. the day i get to go with Amy after school and go do what we use to do. go cook, wrestle, run around, play with puppy, eat yummy food all the time, i cant wait to go all the little things we use to do in which i took way for granted.things need to hurry up so i no longer have to wait. that day will come and it will be one of my most happiest days. i cant wait..... i just cant wait.

night rally!!!

the night rally really wasnt even that good. everyone would just keep talking even when dylan would talk. it was way annoying! the junor (i think i spelled that wrong, but im hella tired so idc) dance was hella long im happy they cut it of before it took anymore of my life away. im not trying to be mean it just wasnt a good dance and it just dragged on. all in all the night really was less than i expected. i would have hoped that the senors would have made it better because it is the last one we will come to for our school, but i guess i was wrong. well im hella tired and ima go to sleep. goodnight

i hate her!!!!!

i hate her with everything i got. she is the worse thing i have ever encountered. she is the' bitch' or even the wicked witch of the west! she takes away the one thing the one person that makes me have a reason to wake up and smile, the one person that always makes me happy, the one person i can never stop thinking about. she took away amy. and for that i hate her. i will never love nor like her ever again. she has made my life harder then a 17 year olds life should be. she acts stupid in the case of being called a bitch. youve never been called a bitch when you were all prepy and cheery cheerleader??? thats a fucking lie and that all that come out of you mouth! you say youre doing it for me but if you really were then you would see the tears that seem to never stop. its as if you like seeing people that are better then you unhappy. i sure in the hell am better to you and everyone knows it. soon you wont be sucessful compared to me or my sisters. you will just be exactly what you dont want to be... a no body and in my eyes and to me you already are a no body. its as if you were waiting for something like thisd to happen so you could say 'no seeing amy' but fuck you i see her everyday and you have no control over that so i dont see the point in saying wait until im 18. ill be 18 in 5 months so why not just let me see her? you know how much i lover her and how much you are fucking killing me when you do this. and you sday i dont care, i at least talked and told her not to do that anymore and to do everything i say, but you put me, a 17 year old, under soo much stress and depression that ive lost all want to eat at home, ive lost all happiness when i walk through that door way and thats all becuase of you! and as i said in creative writing im picking the highway and never turning back becuase i refuse to do it your way. just wait intil i move out becuase i hope its a slap in the face becuase this whole situation is like getting jumped by 10 people and no one is there to help me. you wont ever talk to my older sister becuase you know your reasoning is stupid and pointless. youre the only family member amy doesnt like and thats becuase you try to controo everyone and she wont take it. everyone knows your reasoning is stupid and they dont they you control them. so im going to join that part of the family and not let you control me, i am my own being, i am an individual, i am.... JACOB DAVIS!

i forgot to comment!!!!!!!!

i cant believe i didnt comment! i remembered at like 11:30 sunday night but i was waaaaay too lazy to get up off my butt and go comment. i need to be less lazy. i need to do something when i first remember or am told to do it. lol thats my downfall i guess you can say. it happened when i was in honors 2 with jensen. i hated blogging and i would usually blog in the morning of the dsy it was due. so i need to remember to blog so i can for sure get an A so i can prove i am uber smart to everyone lol i used uber.

ohhh hot dog

i dont know why my title is oh hot dog. lol i just felt like saying that. well today is hella hot but i have another night practice so no worries it will be nice by the end. i hope it cools down like last wensday. i loved that breeze. well today i bought my girlfriend her favorite energy drink and she doesnt know so im just going to surprize her. have you ever just felt like doing something that you know will make that person glow with a smile? i love doing it. it puts me in a better mood and then its just an all around good day. well dont tell her i got her a red bull if you read this. i want it to be a gift.

the heat!!!!!

why does it have to be soooooo hot?? even as the day grows old is seems to stay just as hot. i have a night practice today but the weather man said its going to be in the 90s even at sun set soo either way we are suck in fulll pads running around in the heat. and just to add to it i want to nap some more. so if you add it all together it will be at least around 100 in the pads (they add like 10 degrees) and ill be hecka tired. so i am just looking forward to sleep.